


Coda: 9x09

by IvoryAthena



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x09 coda, Canonical Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvoryAthena/pseuds/IvoryAthena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is gone and Dean is left with the mess he made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coda: 9x09

“Kevin…”

The word left a wound in his gut as it trembled from his mouth.

Kevin was gone. And that was all his fault.

He barely heard it the second time he spoke, his mind and vision going blurred with the tears that slowly crept down his face.

“I always trust you,” he had said, “and I always end up screwed.”

The last words that Dean heard from him, the last time Kevin tried to understand what his role was he was involved in this whole mess, and Dean brushed him off. Kevin just wanted to know what was going on, wanted to have someone talk to him instead of through him, wanted to be able to be something to someone, anyone, besides just a walking, talking Biblical encyclopedia.

And Dean had brushed it off as a fucking joke.

The weight draped itself over his shoulders, settling in place alongside the rest of the guilt for all the others Dean had unwittingly sent to their early deathbeds.

More tears began to threaten, and as he blinked away the water pooling on his lower eyelashes, Dean found himself unable to look away from the two smoking, black voids staring back at him. His body shook in protest as he pushed off the bookshelf and began to crawl, hands and knees, toward the body of the prophet.

Prophet of the Lord, Dean thought, his hand now coming to rest on Kevin’s shoulder. He could smell the burning flesh from the close distance. He couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Carefully, moving his body as though it were a delicate doll, Dean pulled Kevin to his chest as he leaned against the wall. He held the body in his hands, the familiarity of the feeling pushing and pulling at his insides until a sob broke out. His body pumped through him the memory of holding Sam in the cold night, his body limp and unmoving against Dean after the knife had sliced through his spinal cord. 

Another person who Dean pulled, unwilling, into this life. Whose death had been on his hands.

More sobs erupted from Dean’s chest, tears now freely flowing, several dripping down onto Kevin’s shirt. Dean clutched on tightly, not yet ready to let go of the young boy who had done so much for them, who had given so much to a world that didn’t even know, didn’t even care.

Dean thought back to the last time Kevin had pulled through for them, once again covering their tails when they had no one else to call.

“I’m Kevin Freakin’ Solo,” he had said, his voice so young, so confident. Dean half-chuckled despite himself, the noise coming out wet and unnatural amongst his sobs.

“Kevin Tran, Advanced Placement,” Dean whispered to no one. His cries grew smaller and tighter in his chest as he rested his forehead down on the smaller on the younger man’s.

“You deserved so much better than me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just had a lot of feelings after the mid-season finale.
> 
> RIP Kevin Tran. You deserved better.


End file.
